Book on Kids and College

Greetings everyone,

My friend Judy and I are putting together an ebook about the unique experiences of parents and their college age children. Once you've toured all the campuses and filled out all the forms, you submit your applications. You wait patiently for word of acceptance or rejection and celebrate when at last a decision has been made. You think you're done. WRONG! The fun is only beginning.

If you have a story or just some thoughts you would like to contribute, please send us your email address. You can leave a comment here or contact us at TSchultz60@gmail.com. (My hotmail account is overflowing!) We will send you a list of questions to answer if you like, or you can just write down your ideas about the challenges parents (and their teens) face as their children grow into adults.

Please let us know if you wish to remain anonymous. Otherwise, we will use first names only. If selected, submissions become our property and you give us your consent to use them in our e-book. We will notify you if selected and send you a complimentary copy of our ebook.

Thanks in advance,

Theresa and Judy

Off to College

We dropped our son off at college yesterday. It wasn't as heartwrenching this time as it was when my daughter left for school two years ago, in part, because we had been through it before and also because he is only 30 miles away. We already plan to see him in two weeks when my mom celebrates her birthday.

It's an interesting experience, seeing your child off to college. As you help him move into his dorm, you want to help him make his bed and get unpacked, setting everything up for his success. You make sure he has everything he could possibly need, and then you say goodbye. If he is far away from home, it may be quite a while before you see him again. Even if he is close to home, something is different now. Your relationship has changed, and when he does come home to visit, it will be as an adult.

It's a time of adjustment, a time of shifting roles, and it has only just begun. Luckily, it is also a time of celebration, knowing that you have done your job in preparing your child for the bigger world out there. He will face challenges; he will have many successes and also some failures. That is inevitable, but you have equipped him with the necessary tools he will need to meet life head on.

The Back to School Craze

Remember when going back to school meant buying a few notebooks, a new box of crayons, and new shoes? If you wore a uniform to school, you probably got one of those too; if not, you got one or two new outfits. That was it.

Well, times have changed. The supply list now contains items that used to be provided by the schools - like scissors, glue and tissues. Every child needs a new backpack, notebooks, paper, pens (red, blue and black), glusticks, ruler, tape, scissors, markers, folders and a calculator. If you have two children and you shop the sales, you can still end up paying out more than $100.00 in supplies alone. And that doesn't even count the new clothes your child "has to have" or the fees that are required for art projects, lab costs, etc.

Don't even get me started on the supplies, including furniture and appliances, your child needs for college. Does it ever end?

This week on the blog, read my ideas for keeping the costs down and bringing a bit of sanity back to the back-to-school craze.

Separation Anxiety - in Reverse

Well, my 18-yr.-old son left for Australia last night, so now the shoe is on the other foot. After all those years of little ones hanging onto my leg and not wanting to let go, it's my turn to worry about my son as he travels to a different continent - heck, even a different hemisphere!

I had a taste of adult separation anxiety two years ago when my daughter went away to college. I was okay up until the final goodbyes, then found I couldn't speak. I held back the tears until I got in the car, then let loose. This September, I get to say goodbye to my son as well, as he heads off to college too, so I guess I should be getting good at it by now. But it takes some courage to send your child so far away.

My one consolation is that I remember so well how much fun I had the summer I was nineteen. I got the opportunity to study in Heidelberg, Germany through my college, Pepperdine University. It was the best summer of my life, hands down, as I got to travel to many countries and experience different ways of life. I will never forget that summer, and I hope my son will have great memories of his time in Australia. My daughter is looking to study in Ireland, and I know my youngest will want to take some type of big trip as well.

It's all a part of growing up, going on these adventures. It's tough on the parents, but it's so educational and so meaningful to the kids, and I hope every young adult gets an opportunity to broaden his or her horizons and go explore the world!

Conflicting Signals

Today I attended the Parent Orientation at my son's college. While it was very informative and very well-organized, it was also very - well - scary!

After hearing the general presentations on how to help our child transition into adulthood and to watch out for the two most common causes of academic problems - stress and lack of sleep - the representative for the architecture program dropped a bombshell.

During the five year program, students are expected to work seven days a week (in order to complete group projects on the weekends) and they will frequently need to pull all-nighters to keep up with their work. When I asked her if these students had procrastinated, she said no. The workload is simply that difficult and demanding. They also have a dropout rate of 30-40% after the first year and 10-20% after the second.

Having always urged our children to find a balance in their lives, this was a bit hard to swallow. But I'll keep an open mind. We'll see how things go. Maybe she was exaggerating; maybe he'll rise to the challenge and thrive on the work. Only time will tell.