Kids Should Make Sacrifices Too

This has been called the age of the self-sacrificing parent. Supposedly we have given up everything for our children and we now plan our lives around them entirely. Gone are the days of sending the kids out the door to play, only to see them again at dinnertime.



It's true that today's kids are busier than ever before. After school activities abound, coupled with the inevitable doctor's appointments and music, dance and or karate lessons. Add in a sport or two and you are busy every single day of the year.



When we do so much for our kids, we can fall into the trap of doing everything for them; before you kow it, the kids rule the roost. They decide what program gets watched, what music gets played and where dinner is eaten. It's easier to give in than to fight over every little thing, but what does that teach the kids - that whining wins the day?



It's good for children to make sacrifices too. Let them listen to your music for a change. You decide what program to watch and invite them to join you. (Here's where having only one TV in our house was a real gift. It taught the kids how to share and how to respect each other's rights and ours too.) Ask them to work on the crossword with you, instead of playing their video games. It's a two-way street. Learning to compromise and learning that they will not always get their way will serve them much better in life than always getting what they want.

Conflicting Signals

Today I attended the Parent Orientation at my son's college. While it was very informative and very well-organized, it was also very - well - scary!

After hearing the general presentations on how to help our child transition into adulthood and to watch out for the two most common causes of academic problems - stress and lack of sleep - the representative for the architecture program dropped a bombshell.

During the five year program, students are expected to work seven days a week (in order to complete group projects on the weekends) and they will frequently need to pull all-nighters to keep up with their work. When I asked her if these students had procrastinated, she said no. The workload is simply that difficult and demanding. They also have a dropout rate of 30-40% after the first year and 10-20% after the second.

Having always urged our children to find a balance in their lives, this was a bit hard to swallow. But I'll keep an open mind. We'll see how things go. Maybe she was exaggerating; maybe he'll rise to the challenge and thrive on the work. Only time will tell.